Helluuuuu

So like my life's been nothing but a fucking mess. But like a beautiful mess I would say wait does that even make sense I just remembered reading or seeing it somewhere I just thought it was an appropriate sentence to use it. I went to the best friend's birthday which was fucking awesome then I learned a lot of fun stuff hahaha and um.. what else has been going on. I can't remember.

So anyway many things happened I don't even know where to begin. Ahhh, I miss this whole blogging shit hahaha I remembered typing as fast as I could cause I would be so angry every time I blog and I was afraid I would forget what I wanted to say. Just a warning though, I'm gonna be talking about whatever comes to my mind so it might get a little confusing.. or not.

Monday, I'm gonna be starting on my new job. HAH! Fuck yeah motherfuckers I finally got a job!! I was so relieved when the lady called me up saying that she got the medical results and that i was 'fit' for employment. They did a whole bunch of shit on me like x-ray and all that starting-a-new-job bullshit OH MY GOD and did i mention i was so fucking nervous I couldn't pee I was hoping that please just let my pee be normal. Hahaha then I had the blood test (which also I was fucking nervous about) WHICH ALSO, BY THE WAY LEFT A HUGE BRUISE ON MY ARM AND IT MAKES MY STOMACH CRINGE EVERY TIME I LOOK AT IT. Then this bitch told me to lie down and started pressing on my abdomen and I urghhh.. I wanted to punch her face it was like reflex and she took some I don't know stick and hit my arm which was just injected cause of the blood test. I'm just like God if this is how I will die I will accept my fate. And i was so dizzy on the way back I swear I thought I was gonna pass out.

Yeah I know it's so overdue and I was supposed to have a job since last year and when I say job I meant like a proper full time job not 4 hours, 3 days every week. Hehe I'm such a lazy fuck I have no idea how I'm gonna survive this.. But I have to and I will! Cause i really need to save up for school:( And a bike and a holiday. And I haven't exactly being a lazy fuck I really did have a lot going on which isn't that important.

Okay on a more serious note, I'm really nervous about Monday like I haven't even picked out what to wear yet! Yes that is serious matter. Urgh I'm starving till next time

must it be?

For years she lived bound to him, her every step subject to his scrutiny. He might as well have chained iron balls to her ankle. But the thought of being set free makes her steps suddenly feels lighter than usual. She was soaring, enjoying every single moment. She wanted to keep in contact with the men she made friends with but no, not in the least because any men would make her memory of him unbearably painful.

"you're sweet.. definitely not fucked up"

so the exams are round the corner and i just got to know that i almost got debared from this module and i don't know why i don't feel worried. okay maybe i do but just not as much. because you see the problem with my lecturer is that he doesn't do anything. really. all he does is give us a project, he doesn't really care what it is and as long as we have something to say in the report its good enough. and i don't like doing something that i know i'm not putting 100% effort in but it's a group work so... yah.

it's funny how i adapt to a certain environment. or a situation that i'm forced to be in. i don't know why i always feel excited and then the next minute it's just like oh..okay. i don't know why but nonetheless i just blend in when i have to. sucks to have different me all the time. cause the 'me' that really stays is the fucked up me where i feel i'm never good enough.

anyway, i met this guy and everything he speaks of is perfect like i'm not even fucking kidding. it's like WHAT IS IT THAT YOU SPEAK OF DOES IT COME WITH FREE SHIPPING.

everyone has the heartbreak
that shapes them in a way
that they could never go back
to the innocence that they had before

cause of you i wear my heart on my sleeve

don't cry because it's over

smile because it happened

you got something all the girls want

i still can't get over it

i miss you so much

i just want to see you again for the last time

everyone leaves the world eventually

you're my angel from up above

i miss you so much

i'm just a dreamer

who dreams of better days

tired

just so fucking tired

glad she's so much better now

i promised to

dye her hair black and cook for her

get well soon, Grandma

i love you

i believe that adults behave like children too

only a lot worse

why does every moment have to be so hard?

if music be the food of love, play on

laughter is God's sunshine

but it was dark and raining so heavily today

A MAN'S MOUTH GETS HIM IN MORE TROUBLE

THAN HIS PECKER EVER COULD,

MOST OF THE TIME.

(stupid son of a bitch)