the rocks and solitary promontaries

Are we human or are we dancers

2011-10-28T02:21:00.001+08:00

School's been really crazy lately and I'm always late which is so uncool. Ben was surprised to see me in class just now cause he said he haven't seen me around. Like hello I've been nowhere but school and work! Where the hell could I possibly be. Anyway, I'm down with this terrible terrible fever and the weather isn't helping the slightest bit. Rain then shine and mad raining again.. Like make up your mind woman! Haha okay whatever.

Sigh:(

2011-10-25T01:30:00.001+08:00

I wanna be the reason you fall asleep with your phone in your hand cause you were waiting for me to reply. I wanna be the reason why you cut your hair cause I prefer you like that. I wanna be the reason why you buy a shirt cause I think it looks good on you. I wanna be the reason why you smile for no reason cause you were thinking about the funny conversations we had. I wanna be the reason why you keep moving forward in life cause I think it's sexy when a guy has a vision in life. I wanna be the reason why you can't sleep just cause I'm sick. I wanna be the reason to every why's.

No more chicken for me

2011-10-24T01:38:00.001+08:00

I've been reading Coelho's book for awhile now I must say he's a really good writer. I'm always inspired like halfway through the book. I finally got my hands on his new book Aleph and it's fucking awesome!!! I can't even... Anyway, I been eating chicken my whole day today(and yesterday) I don't know why. It's just every time I order something there's chicken in it. And now I feel really sick. The thought of eating chicken actually makes me wanna throw up.

Met Mama David and Razi for dinner after work yesterday which was really random. We were hunting for fish head curry and we ended up at Little India. And of course we just had to head over to Mustafa for the usual basic necessities shopping. God I love that place. Haha!

So today I slept the whole afternoon. Was supposed to meet Imogen to watch a rugby game over at Chijmes but yaaaaa... Mama just had to make a last minute plan to go Ikea. And of course the lovebirds joined us and we got scented candles. And we'll be going there again soon to get stuff for my room which I'm so excited! I can't wait to start painting the room and fix the new bed and the study table oh and the pigeon hole thingy...

Ivan I'm gonna miss you, you sick bastard. I'm gonna miss your rubbish while you're away:( I hope the trip's cancelled and you won't be able to go. Hehe! But if it's not then... Take good care and don't forget to bring home sone cute japanese boys for me! Till then.

Just try not to worry, you'll see them someday

2011-10-18T00:02:00.007+08:00

Yes the blogshop's done up!! Go check it out and you can always leave a comment! I've got so much more but so far i only managed to take these few pictures today. I just got back from a sweaty run with the sister and as usual i always need to shit halfway. So i was trying to hard to not think about it but it's harder than you think it is. So yeah.. I guess that's about it! Don't forget to visit
http://hey-barbie.blogspot.com and tell me what you think! xoxo

Tonight I'll be sleeping with you, toilet.

2011-10-15T15:21:00.002+08:00

Naz was being a whorebag the whole time last night. We were supposed to meet at 5:30 but she changed it to 6 and so dinner reservation was at 6. Haha and she was hurrying me and Pao when she's not even there yet! We only got to the place at 8 and there were still seats available. So it wasn't that bad. But dinner was horrible!!! We ordered like the usual dishes with rice thing and the sotong wasn't cooked properly:( Me and Pao are having the time of our lives shitting in the toilet.

And you know whats the worst thing the waitress said after I asked her if she thinks that the dish was cooked properly she said "maybe it's just the head the rest is all cooked" I was like FUCK YOU!!!! No but we were feeling all classy so I was like.. Yeah, I'm sure. Oh my god la. Annoying macam nak kene tumbuk right?! We had dinner at Indo Padang by the way the one at Cathay? Yeah so don't ever go there!

We had dessert after that at Strictly Pancakes but my stomach was already really sore by then. But the pancakes were really good!!! And yeah that pretty much summed everything up. I had fun and I love you dolls!!

Conversation got boring

2011-10-14T00:36:00.001+08:00

I almost lost my notes in the school toilet yesterday and Tariq helped me to ask the janitor If she found it. And apparently he told me she threw it away. I was like is she a fucking retard!!!! And Tariq immediately gave me the notes back. Douchebag he made me feel so bad!

Okay I'm such a loser. Remember I said I overslept for my previous RTT test date? I didn't book for another one quickly enough now it's "expired" and I have to retake the whole TTT thing again. Fuck la!!! Is there any way I can get my license without having to go through so much hassle? Fuckkkkkkkk. Now I'm thinking if I should wait for the next holidays to come to do the whole shit again. Urgh!!!!!

O happy dagger!

2011-10-13T11:37:00.001+08:00

Last week was crazy!!! We had lots of rubbish to finish by the end of this week and it's not helping that I've been working after school for the past few days. I'm always hungry nowadays and it's freaking the hell out of me. It's either I'm starving or I'll crave for chocolates and ice creams and all that stuff which should be illegal. Oh by the way Topshop is having a SALE! Go get it em' dolls.

Anyway I can't remember much of what happened last week so I'm just gonna skip to a few days back. We had the infamous Napfa test. Yes, whoever came up with that idea you can kiss my aching ass now. I couldn't move the next day la!! Oh my god I was like struggling to get out of bed. Imagine going down the stairs!! Bloody standing broad jump! Bloody everything. The only thing I enjoyed was the 2.4 run. Haha! Which I think is the major cause for me not being able to walk properly now.

Oh and yesterday it had to rain when I reached the interchange and I was about to just walk under the rain(cause I was already 20 mins plus late by then) and a kind soul offered to share to umbrella with me. Hehe. We actually had a good talk okay. I found out that she's in year 1 taking the same course as mine. So yeah, we have something in common. I can't wait to get started with the final project laaaaaa.

Last night I actually dreamt of passing my RTT already. Haha! Which reminds me that I have to go and book for it again since I overslept for the previous RTT date. How dumb can I get right. Um, very, apparently. Okay I should shut up. Have a great Thursday everybodeh.

Monday flu

2011-10-03T21:27:00.001+08:00

First day back at school and the first lesson was some computer rubbish. We'll be doing MS access (something like that) and Adobe stuff. Ew and the lecturer kept going on and on about how we're supposed to keep up with the work and all.. Just get on with the lesson.

Oh my god, my dad totally jumped on the bed with my sister's cat woman halloween outfit in an attempt to scare me. Was I scared? Hell yes. I was like what what the fuck was he thinking?! Hahahaha and the super tight latex pants actually fit him! Plus the bra too. Oh my god imagine the horror.

Think I ate something bad with Tariq at the coffeeshop. I feel queasy and threw up first thing when I reached home. Yuck, disgusting green nasi lemak. Anyway, I hope Monday is treating all of y'all good! Have a great week ahead! Bisous!!

Girl, you nasty

2011-10-03T00:43:00.001+08:00

School starts at 1 tomorrow and I've no idea where my uniform is at. Urgh it's almost 1am now and I'm starving. Anyway I can't wait for this weekend with Tina! Gonna touch up on them tattoos and probably get my tongue pierced! Woo!! Im hungry and I can't sleep. Help!!

Won't you come on over?

2011-09-30T17:46:00.002+08:00

I wish I could be smuggled in to France! The sister will be going away tonight for two fucking weeks while I'll be in this shithole. Haha! If some of you girls remembered I used to have a pre-love blog but I couldn't be bothered updating it and ended up selling most of it at a flea. My bad. But I might start one up again soon!! Tell me what you girls think! xx

Where art thou

2011-09-28T00:43:00.002+08:00

She thought of the memories they shared when they were much happier.. And perhaps younger then she had trouble trying to concentrate. Her body rocked back and forth and she could feel her nose twitching and her eyes watery. But it stopped. She couldn't cry. She wants to but she had trouble expressing her emotions too. Does circumstance really change the way she feels over time? It's like a healing wound that gets cut again and again. Maybe the reason she chose not to wept is cause she knew that it would lead to her to do things that may cost her her life. She's blessed and she knows it but sometimes she doubts herself. She doesn't know where to go from here but neither does she plan to go anywhere. It's been a chilly night.

Happy birthday Yul

2011-09-27T02:15:00.001+08:00

I never liked going for birthday parties especially if it's at the beach. The whole trying to start the fire for the bbq and stuff oh my god la. Ws couldn't stop nagging about the cake like how it was so pricey. Dude, ever heard of checking the price first before placing an order? Hahahaha! But I guess the party went pretty smoothly-until my hair smelled like smoke.

Clothes haul

2011-09-25T23:00:00.001+08:00

Hi, I wish I could hug you and apologize to you for the hurt I've caused you. I never meant to hurt you. I just wanna let you know that I still feel shitty about the incident and I haven't forgive myself for falling for someone whom I knew was madly in love with his partner. In fact I wanted to write you a letter but I don't know what stopped me. But now that you've found my space I want to apologize for the heartache I've caused. I'm sorry I really am. You're an amazing person.

Finally went to H&M today with Bob and it was so.. boring. I couldn't find anything I really liked. But I got a few bottoms for work and a tube top. I don't know where I'm gonna where it to but yeah let's just keep it in the wardrobe for now. Got a few pieces in F21 and I got the dresses I've been eyeing at Topshop too!! Can't wait for fashion night! xx

Well well well...

2011-09-25T01:29:00.001+08:00

Okay so work was busyyyyyyyy and mum came over with Bob and Ross. And kakak came over with Vivien and like I was so lost trying to multi task. Haha! But I got a pair of skirt (okay my mum did) for work and it's so pretty!!!!! I can't wait for pay day I'm a broke ass nigga. Think I'm gonna drop by orchard tomorrow and see what I can get for work. And for the record I think I spend more than I earn. But who doesn't!!!!!!

Welcome to Singapore!

2011-09-24T00:26:00.001+08:00

Bob's back from Perth and I can't wait to see him tomorrow. He's staying with mum and I was supposed to see him just now!! As usual I was running late and mum told me he's already asleep. But it's okay though I'll probably join them tomorrow after work.

Kakak bought me this two-finger ring (is that what you call it?) and it says love on it. She said it's so me. Hmmm,you think so? But I like it. And I asked her for another one. Perhaps with the word sucks so I can wear it together. Hahahaha! Goodnight.

No one wants to be alone but...

2011-09-22T23:38:00.001+08:00

"when it is made clear to an Aquarius that they aren't wanted, they won't chase after you"-twitter

FUCK YOU

2011-09-22T01:04:00.001+08:00

This ones goin out to you dad. Sometimes I wish you're fucking reading this then you'll probably stop saying things that hurts so much. I don't always go out at night and when I do I always tell you. One, don't ever compare what angah and kakak is doing to what I'm doing. You always trying to say that they're way better than me. And I always believed that. I always think that I'm such a fucking loser for not even being able to get in a fucking poly. But do you know that I love what I'm doing? Don't you ever say that ITE is shit. It's not. You are! Don't talk like youre a holder of some bachelor shit deal it with. If you had given birth to me earlier I'll probably have a stable job already and I wouldn't ask you for money-which brings me to my next point.

You know the only reason I work is so that I wouldn't fucking bother you anymore. So that I can get my own stuff with my own money. Since young you've taught me to be independent then why do you ask me to quit work now? Just the other day or maybe a few months back when I wasn't working kakak told me to get a job. I was reluctant cause I knew I should focus and graduate with good grades. She said she worked while she was in poly(which I don't remember) and she said I should do the same thing too. So you know what ba, if you're that stingy to me I'm sorry when you're older I hope angah and kakak can give you enough money.

I have a tendency to believe what people say about me or to me. So when you keep calling me sundal I'm starting to believe that maybe I am. Maybe you raised me up to become a sundal well guess what you can go fuck yourself for calling me that cause when nenek brought me up she wants me to be successful. I know what I wanna do and you can't stop me from doing it. You see, the thing that pisses me off so much about you is that you don't know what you're talking about and you think you're always right. No, fuck you're never right well at least most of the time.

And maybe cause of you I had a nightmare that I was cutting wrists so bad that I woke up with scratches and bruises on my thighs and elbows. You're a monster dad. I won't even call you dad anymore. Cause if you are my dad you wouldn't say those nasty things to me you wouldn't call me sundal and you wouldn't tell me not to live with you. Think about it are you worthy of such title? Go fuck yourself.

We go hard

2011-09-18T23:21:00.001+08:00

It was the best sleep I had in three days!! Woke up at one today and I felt so fresh. Rejuvenated and refreshed and so alive haha! But it was back to work again. So many things that's not been done up yet for the new house and I'm already so exhausted! Helped my dad with the drilling and sawing I had so much fun! But now my arms are so sore! I don't know how my dad does it though he's like one after another.

I don't know what to wear for work tmrw laaaaaa. Am down with a horrible cold now and I'm like shivering as I type this. How to work like that?! Hahaha excuses. Nights everybodeh.

Another one bites the dust

2011-09-18T01:01:00.001+08:00

So I late just now for work okay like since when was I ever early. Anyway, I was like half an hour late!!! Ceci was like oh you should've called earlier. Um hm.. I did call and I spoke to her la, hello?

But overall work went fine. A couple of cute boys entered the store and stuff. Why am I talking about work so much.

About the new place. Hi nek, I hope you're still around to check this place out it's awesome and I miss how you'd always come over every time after we shift and you'll get us house warnings gifts I miss that so much and I miss your presence. I must admit it ain't the same without you around anymore and life gets really hard,you know? I hope you're fine.. Well 'm sure you are. I wish I could call and ask you if you're doing good. But I'm sure you're well taken care of now. I love you. And I miss you.

Day 1 at 111

2011-09-16T18:31:00.001+08:00

Today marks the first day/night at the new place! It's so nicely renovated and all I'm so excited! After a day packing and carrying boxes up the stairs, think I must have lost a few kilos. It's good exercise I must say. I've got work tomorrow and I don't know where the hell all my stuff went to.

I like the new environment though it's really quiet but the sad part, no cute neighbors. Boo!! Now I don't know what to do cause the wardrobes aren't here yet and we can't fix the bed just yet:( and the kitchen is still a mess with boxes stacked everywhere. I'm all alone now and I'm hungry.......

Y'all should grow the fuck up come here let me coach you

2011-09-16T02:31:00.001+08:00

People can be so fake. They'll be really nice to you then they'll talk behind your back and pretend that everythings fine. And when I say people I mean friends, family and every one you once met or talked to. But I don't mean that everyone is fake. Most of the time yeah but sometimes it's just too obvious they're faking to be nice. Just saying.

Never mind that whole chunk of shit I'm done with packing and I wonder how the new house looks like. I've never even been to the new place even before its been renovated. I just can't be bothered la really, we might move again any fucking time soon. I won't be surprised.

719 no more

2011-09-15T00:51:00.001+08:00

Time to move again. I'm usually excited but I guess its just getting too old. I used to enjoy packing and looking at old stuff I kept over the years but I realized how little memories I have now. I know it sounds silly but I haven't found any old diaries or books that I used to read. I must have thrown so many stuff growing up and moving houses.

Packing now seems to be a lot faster. I used to not throw stuff away but I just don't see the point of keeping things you don't need anymore. It's like human nature. When you have something better you think can make you happy you discard the old one away.

But when you realize that it doesn't fulfill your needs anymore you don't even remember what you had and that's when you start looking for it all over again. Too late much?

"Are you happy with your life now?"

2011-09-13T18:58:00.001+08:00

She longed for someone whom she can pour her feelings to, someone who will stand by her no matter what happens but also someone who will understand her enough when she isn't herself. She knows what she needs yet she chooses to go for what she want. But what does she want exactly? No one can ever understand neither the girl herself. She enjoys company but she prefers to be alone when the night comes. That's when all the thoughts starts coming, one after another. Usually she'll feel better after she wakes up the next day but now it gets to her and she's overwhelmed by this feeling of not knowing what's going to happen next. Is she happy with her life now? Yes. But for how long?

Hang.Over.

2011-09-12T13:09:00.001+08:00

I gotten the shortest pair of shorts for work and it was a little bit pricey for a pair of shorts but I like it. But it's so short though I can never wear it out without pantyhose. Haha! And it's so cool that I'm wearing it with the torn vans-fuck me pumps. Hahahaha! I wanna get a tan so bad but it's been raining so much lately:( Anywayyyyyyyyy.

What kind of fuckery

2011-09-11T02:19:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired of thinking if I made the right decision and shit like that. All I ever wanna do is have fun and here I am always going back and then beating myself up so bad about it, crying myself to sleep at night. I'm only human and like every fucking homosepiens we get tired and especially if we've been working and to all you selfish motherfuckers who think that being tired all the time is an excuse, go fuck yourself. I'm tired of crying I really am. I'm tired of not being able to spend time with you even though I've been up so early. I'm tired and all I wanna do is sleep but I had to stay up cause I don't get to see you often but you had to open your motherfucking mouth and blame me for being tired. Know what, fuck yourself you obnoxious, self-centered, rude fucker. I'm disappointed in you. Thoroughly.

Dangerous spending

2011-09-09T22:33:00.001+08:00

If there's anyone you're looking to go shopping with, it's my mum. I love her. Haha! Yeah it's one of the days where she's super nice and not nag when I pick out something to try. Okay she never nags when we shop la but yeah you get what I mean! I was supposed to get bottoms only but I couldn't resist dem shoes! Okay I'm off to try on all the stuff-even though it's a bit weird when you wear everything together but oh well! Tah!

Eye candy

2011-09-08T23:25:00.001+08:00

Yay I survived ten hours of work! Thank god I'm not working tomorrow cause I don't know what to wear. I don't ever have anything to wear despite the clothes spilling out of the wardrobe. I see so many pretty dresses but what I really need now is lots and lots of bottoms. Does anyone know where I can get them without spending so much? I need lots of shoes as well. I'm only surviving on my good ol vans for work and school and sometimes when I go out. My poor shoes. Haha! Yeah I don't know what else to say :/

If you ever had a bad day

2011-09-07T23:39:00.001+08:00

Apparently I was supposed to work yesterday but I didn't know about the changes in the schedule so I was considered missing for the day. Oh well. The long awaited holidays are finally here and I cannot wait to chill the fuck out for this term break. I need to start taking note of the days I'm working and when I'm not! I need a holiday so bad:( and talking about holidays it's about time I start saving and do something worth remembering the money I spend on. I spend way too much on god knows what and as much as I'm always working, I'm always broke too. How ironic. It makes me shitty too! I need more money!!!!!

So many things to do, so little time

2011-09-06T21:15:00.001+08:00

Finally re-took my theory trial test for the umpteenth time just now and I finally passed! Talking about TTT and RTT, seriously who gives a shit about all the stuff on the road? Haha anyway, I hate going there! I always feel like a fucking loser! And I hate how the system works. I was so close to passing my RTT (which I failed) and I had to retake the stupid trial test again. So what if I fail my RTT for the second time round? :/ Sitting for my last paper tomorrow then I'll be heading straight to work. Yay! Workaholic much? I hope I can save enough for Bangkok! I'm having the best hair day ever. Cute boys, where the fuck were all of you!!

life's good.. no?

2011-09-05T14:13:00.002+08:00

exam is less than an hour away... WTF!!!!!

yours truly

2011-08-28T23:58:00.004+08:00

i believe that every ending has a new beginning and therefore i take this 'break up' in a positive way. i think that it's time i be independent and search for something that i've always been looking for. i know that he's special and as much as i'm gonna miss out on the love that he's got to offer, i can't be with him thinking that i'm not gonna do the same.

as always, i've been busy with school, work, my friends and my family. i hardly have time for myself, let alone another person. he's always been a part of me. we grew up together since secondary school. i was there when he graduated from his o levels, when he got his first part time job, when he got into poly, when he got his driver's license, and finally when he joined the police force. he has so much potential and i feel like i'm still the same old me..

that makes me shitty knowing that there's actually someone out there who's willing to do anything and everything to have me back in his arms but i just can't bear the thought of not doing the same too. it's just too painful having him by my side cause i know that when he has the time to call me, i'm always not free or i really don't feel like talking and because of that i think it's best we go our separate ways..

there's so many things out there that i havent seen, so many people i havent met, and strangers i havent become friends with. i'm still thinking about what's best for me and what i wanna do. sure i wanna have someone whom i can share my sadness and joy with but what if that's all that i've got to share?

baby if you're reading this, i'm sorry for causing you so much hurt years after all the years. we've had the best of times and not to forget the times when we were both young and broke. haha. you are indeed the best i ever had and i will keep all the memories we shared deep in my heart and i pray to never forget any moments we shared together. it's so painful for me i hope you understand. i remembered taking sunset pictures with you while we were skating and all that i don't wanna go into details right now really.. but thank you for everything you've done for me and the endless love that you've poured to me. thank you for (still) loving me.. it's just that i think it's best i get myself sorted out first, before i love you just like i did four years back. i'm sorry and i wish you all the best in everything you do. i'll be around.. um, hugs?

Pain is knowing you're right for each other, just not right now.

2011-08-28T01:39:00.001+08:00

must it be?

2011-08-27T01:32:00.003+08:00

For years she lived bound to him, her every step subject to his scrutiny. He might as well have chained iron balls to her ankle. But the thought of being set free makes her steps suddenly feels lighter than usual. She was soaring, enjoying every single moment. She wanted to keep in contact with the men she made friends with but no, not in the least because any men would make her memory of him unbearably painful.

constipated

2011-08-25T01:24:00.003+08:00

finally met the girls after so long and it was one of the most beautiful nights i've had in a long time. it was just so nice chilling under the stars and feeling the cool breeze brushing against your skin and just talking about stuff. i feel so blessed to have my girlfriends whom i can talk to about anything.

so they finally found out about me taking my bike license (yikes!) and they were freaking out big time. but despite all that they kept reminding me how much they both love me, that they don't want anything to happen to me and that they always want me safe. it meant so much to me just having to know that they care so much about me but at the same time they want me to do what i want. i do feel selfish that despite knowing how dangerous it is and all i still want to go ahead and do it but i don't know. i just can't lie to myself that i don't want it cause i really do, for the longest time.

i'm glad that naz is seeing someone she really likes and i hope it turns out well. but that don't neccessarily mean that they have to be together.. they can always just hang out? haha. oh and it was so funny just now in the middle of our conversation there was a slight pause cause pao was like "yeah it's so awesome that naz is doing photography, i'm doing make up and lulu is... doing tourism" i'm not even in tourism! hahaha but that was so funny though like i feel i'm the 'Chandler' amongst the three of us cause nobody knows exactly what he's doing. anyway i'm constipated right now it's not even funny. nobody told me it was this fucking painful.

and yeah, i just thought about something that made me think.. if you're doing something to make someone happy, does that make you happy too? hmm.

i've been thinking 'bout forever..

2011-08-23T21:56:00.003+08:00

i feel good things coming my way and i feel really blessed that despite the rough times i had a few months back is coming to an end,i hope. i've been so caught up with school but i'm so fucking glad at least i'm done with project work. i can now focus on getting my license and of course, working. i'm glad that i still have a part time job that i can keep my mind off stuff. nonetheless i'm just so relieved about not having to work at the hotel anymore.

i was eating alone just now (sushi to be exact) when i felt this sharp pain on my abdomen and i almost barfed..at the table.. haha. and then there's this weird motherfucker who walked pass me and gave me this look like it was my first time eating sushi! okay i kinda feel sick now thinking about sushi. and the worst part was i was at city hall what a loser me!

"you're sweet.. definitely not fucked up"

2011-08-22T23:42:00.003+08:00

so the exams are round the corner and i just got to know that i almost got debared from this module and i don't know why i don't feel worried. okay maybe i do but just not as much. because you see the problem with my lecturer is that he doesn't do anything. really. all he does is give us a project, he doesn't really care what it is and as long as we have something to say in the report its good enough. and i don't like doing something that i know i'm not putting 100% effort in but it's a group work so... yah.

it's funny how i adapt to a certain environment. or a situation that i'm forced to be in. i don't know why i always feel excited and then the next minute it's just like oh..okay. i don't know why but nonetheless i just blend in when i have to. sucks to have different me all the time. cause the 'me' that really stays is the fucked up me where i feel i'm never good enough. it's just a matter of time the boyfriend finish serving the fucking nation. i miss you:(

life as it is

2011-08-22T00:22:00.002+08:00

we all have our moments at one point of time or another. and these moments don't usually give warnings like you know when your period's gonna come but you don't know why you feel shitty. i must admit at times i feel really shitty about myself. about everything that's going on in my life.. my body image, insecurities. and today is just one of the days i feel like that.

you know i like meeting new people but i just don't like being close with them. don't get me wrong. i'm not saying that i'm so awesome or anything but i just feel like i don't blend in well with people. i hate it when i say the wrong things at the wrong time. or when i don't say anything at all and they think i'm all stuck up.

over the years (or months) i just build up this defence mechanism and i don't know if its a good thing at all. i guess there's gotta be some incident, or someone who has changed our life one way or another. and that's what really bothers me.. i don't even know who i am anymore after you left. as sucky as it is, life goes on.. and it's not stopping for anybody.

"happy birthday robin!"

2011-08-20T13:30:00.002+08:00

it's tariq's birthday but i feel like im dying. i woke up with chest pains, headaches that lasted throughout school, numbness in my right leg while i was presenting in class. i googled it only to scare myself more.

i really want a getaway soon i really don't care where as long as i can not do anything for that 4 days, 3 days whatever. back to tariq's birthday, it wasn't some fancy celebration but we had fun. i felt bad for leaving early. and as for the rest of the night.. let's just say i'm doing my research on boys and their complex mind.

all in a day's work

2011-08-20T01:01:00.012+08:00

as much as i hate school sometimes, i don't think i can ever feel happy, sad, exhausted, loved all at the same time. i can't wait to graduate but i don't exactly wanna move on as well. maybe just not yet. because school only happens once in your life. because we all grow up.

my heart has more rooms in it than a whore house

2011-08-18T12:58:00.004+08:00

when i started blogging three years ago, i didn't know exactly what i was going to be writing about. i typed the first sentence almost about fifty times and when i finally had something to post, i hesitated. but it didn't bother me as much as it would now after all, i wasn't trying to impress anyone with my stories (which were pretty much about my daily life).

this space used to be filled with pictures and random conversations with people who went in and out of my life. but now it's just about me. and i guess i should really start putting thoughts into words. oh and about the previous post, i'm not begging sympathy (thanks, but no thanks) i just needed something to talk about.

i wonder how everyone survives the toughest of times. hey, i'm not saying i'm having a bad time but you know, according to me it kinda is. i wonder what keeps them going and how do they keep their heads above water? ever since i've stopped working, i had so 'free' time. time that i spent doing projects at home, going out in the middle of the night, talking long walks, listening to music on long bus journeys, hanging out with the best friend, and thinking all about it again when i get home.

i think i must have let my guard down so many times that resulted in this. the whole depressive-i-can-manage-everything-myself-but-maybe-not state. but i guess i'm just used to the fact that i always had something to say at the right time, the right words with the right style which helped me with my troubled self. maybe what i really lost this whole time was faith.

life is such a fucking roller coaster then it drops

2011-08-17T22:48:00.001+08:00

it's been awhile since i actually sat down and blogged. i really don't know if i'm lacking inspiration, or there's just too much to talk about that i don't know where to start. my life has been going on like a wild roller coaster. there are days when i get disturbed from my sleep, struggling to keep my eyes shut, waking up every few hours, finally managed to fall asleep just when i'm supposed to wake up. suddenly, waking up became unbearable.

lately, i've been letting too many negative thoughts affect me. it reminds me of the person i used to be. as much as i've grown up since then, part of me misses the old me. what have i got myself into? i don't know. that question doesn't affect me as much as it used to.

maybe i'm still trying to find the purpose of me being here..or maybe not. maybe i just have goals, ambitions and dreams that i want to achieve but there's something stopping me and i'm not quite sure what it is. maybe it's time i start blogging again and start thinking about stuff that actually matters.

2011-07-14T22:50:00.000+08:00

I GET SO FUCKING MAD WHEN THINGS DONT GO MY WAY

I MEAN WHO THE FUCK DOESN'T

2011-07-13T21:45:00.000+08:00

so what's the matter with you sing me something new

2011-06-17T12:53:00.000+08:00

everyone has the heartbreak
that shapes them in a way
that they could never go back
to the innocence that they had before

2011-06-08T23:15:00.000+08:00

some girls act like bitches so they won't get hurt.
some girls are bitches because they got hurt.

2011-06-01T00:11:00.000+08:00

that's what i do, i push people away

2011-05-16T11:40:00.000+08:00

I fly with the stars and the skies.
I am no longer trying to survive

2011-05-16T11:33:00.000+08:00

somewhere in between all the mind games, lies and seduction..
i fell for you.

somewhere in between all the broken promises, manipulation and heartaches..
i got over you.

2011-05-01T10:30:00.000+08:00

Life is a beach i'm just playin in the sand

2010-10-15T16:49:00.000+08:00

now lets be honest baby

boy you was all up on me

now you be walking 'round wit yo friends like

you ain't know who me

hmm

but i remember dem days where

you used to telephone me

and even when you won't admit it

i know that you was falling for me

and its funny how you act

like you don't feel the same

but its even worst when you pretended

that it was just a game

2010-10-01T20:52:00.000+08:00

you must be a football coach

the way you got me playin' in the field

2010-09-26T13:31:00.000+08:00

i walked into the most amazing make up store ever

i could have just died of excitement or something like that i swear

2010-09-26T13:27:00.000+08:00

hang.over.

2010-09-23T05:58:00.000+08:00

the last thing i wanna do is hurt you but you're still on the list

2010-09-23T01:26:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wish i hadn't grew up too fast

2010-09-21T13:30:00.000+08:00

true dat

2010-09-21T13:08:00.000+08:00

i wish i could build an imaginary place

a place where only the things I want it to happen

would happen

2010-09-20T10:52:00.000+08:00

i hate those moments before you go to bed,

where you are forced to think

about the things you try so hard to forget

2010-09-19T00:43:00.000+08:00

When people ask me why it’s so hard for me to trust others,

I ask them why is it so hard for others to keep a promise

-was ours still a promise?

2010-09-17T04:45:00.000+08:00

stay up till 4 in the morning and the tears are pouring

and i wanna make it worth the fight

2010-09-17T01:28:00.000+08:00

if we ever meet again i'll have so much more to say

2010-09-15T11:55:00.000+08:00

cause i'm a material girl in a material world

2010-09-12T14:36:00.001+08:00

this is real

so take a chance

and don't ever look back

2010-09-11T23:48:00.001+08:00

"life's like a dick, when it gets hard-fuck it"

2010-09-06T22:58:00.001+08:00

bad to the bone

2010-09-05T22:07:00.001+08:00

and its true that i love you

and its true you're the only one

2010-09-03T22:30:00.000+08:00

nuff said
but i guess i should get busy too

2010-09-02T01:24:00.000+08:00

can i get an iphone 4 for raya dad?

i promise i'll be a good girl

2010-09-01T22:42:00.000+08:00

i'm not anti-social i just don't like you

2010-08-31T11:17:00.001+08:00

cause of you i wear my heart on my sleeve

2010-08-31T00:42:00.000+08:00

i hate you

this time, i mean it

2010-08-29T23:39:00.000+08:00

don't cry because it's over

smile because it happened

2010-08-28T15:16:00.000+08:00

i'm sick and i hate it

nak magnum:(

2010-08-26T22:31:00.000+08:00

best friends for ever?

i don't know what i was thinking but i'm so sorry it wasn't fair for you. i was all immature and shit i should have just told you what was really on my mind and maybe things would be different. i can't thank god or you or whatever 'thing' that brought us back together. i realised how much i miss you. and us. and the times we'd spend laughing bout stuff that just comes to mind. i missed the times when i don't have to worry about the future. you made my day today and i'm sure for the years to come. its amazing how we can just sit and talk and still laugh like a bitch after how many months. babe, you're the best thing that ever happened in my life. i can't say how sorry i am but acting the way i did. i hope there's no more of this drama cause i really treasure a friend like you. don't forget about our plans! the usual of course, shopping, nails, hair and boyfriends. <3

xoxo.

2010-08-20T16:00:00.000+08:00

you got something all the girls want

2010-08-20T15:57:00.000+08:00

I HAVE THE STUPIDEST PHONE EVER

I SWEAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!

2010-05-02T23:42:00.000+08:00

i need a vacation.

2010-04-20T20:09:00.001+08:00

the girls in AQ

my two captains

Alvin's wife and friends

my manager Alvin.

one of his friend who loooves to squeeze in pictures :)

i need to have a goooood sleep

please don't disturb me. all i need is 12 hours.

hee! good night world.

2010-04-12T21:27:00.000+08:00

if i had you,

that would be the only thing i ever need

2010-04-06T04:41:00.000+08:00

he looks so much like his brother. i can't help it!! hahaaaha!

"as long as we're together"

wazaaaaaaaaaaaap. I'm so bored and I've nothing to do which explains why I'm blogging. hee. anyway, Yasser just celebrated his 19th birthday on Saturday. the invitation was sent via Facebook so those of you who didnt check your Facebook, too bad. :( it was really great except for the weather. ugh, i don't wish to talk about the weather. he got lots of presents though. me don't likey. ha ha! but that's ok cause yasser got me the camera i wanted- canon powershot! and the victoria secret bag. hehehehehee! coolshitez! and i got him an ipod and a watch.

and if you're wondering why i got presents too its cause we celebrated our 3rd year ann on 1st april. awwwww. okay shut up. so besides that his friends gave him supplements for his body. top.. famous amos cookies (which i ate some. or most of it.) heheehe and um.. what else i can't remember but it was a lot. and he was so happy.

anyway, we left on Sunday morning at about 7 cause it started to pour at around six and the worst thing was that my tents weren't waterproof anymore cause of the wax or something and it was dripping in and the wind! omfg it was like strong as hell and i couldn't step out of it cause it was too damn cold. anyway, i did and we packed up as fast as we could while it was raining. :( so depressing right?

went to Yasser's place to sort out the stuff and all and after washing up and all, his mum offered me to sleep awhile. he he! how nice of her. :) she even made breakfast. since Yasser's sharing his room with his brother i was sleeping under his brother. don't get me wrong it like a double decker bed which is soooooo comfortable. anyway, his brother was shocked to see me when he woke up. ha ha! sorry! and the fact that i was in his mum's 'baju butterfly'. eh, don't laugh its comfortable sioooool. and i think i left his place at like 4-ish.

to think i could then sleep properly when i reached home,my dad called and i was supposed to go to lv's brother birthday party at her place. bummer.. but it was a whole load of fun. more food and drinks.. went home after that and slept. woke up at three p.m the next day. ha ha. i love life.

nothing's gonna change my love for you.

2010-03-11T02:08:00.000+08:00

"time on your side that will never end"

i can't believe its going to happen again cheebyeeeee retake o-levels or what. i shouldn't have enrolled myself in ite first i should just concentrate on my maths and science. i mean seriously come on..... there's suddenly so many things that i have to take note of. like when i have to make the payments by, when i have to do this and that and this and that. and it wasn't helping that i had so many people giving me advice and stuff i mean i really appreciate it but at the end of the day i still have to make a decision. I'm very much in love with arts and i so wanted to apply for Lasalle when i went for the open house with Naz and Lv but after much hesitation my dad decided to enrol me for ite.

i was very much disappointed la, i mean i SHOULD HAVE studied harder. or rather, smarter. i was joking a lot with my dad when we were there like how he's always joking about everything. but deep inside i really wanted to get out from the school and cry my heart out. i told him i hated him for putting me in ite but i realised it was all my fault and i should have been grateful that he took the time off from work just to accompany me. he's very nice and he was like 'oh i can send you to school' and i was just like 'ok'. and when we reached home the whole time i was just complaining how ugly the uniform looked on me. 'BA! I LOOK UGLY!' was all i could say. and he was ever so kind and he said you look 'cantik' apee.

I'm sure he knows how high my hopes were when i was studying for the papers and how messy the house was when i had my art stuff all over the place. and I'm sure I'm not the only one disappointed. I'm sure my two sisters are too. and everyone else. i still remembered when he die-die wanted me to register for bedok town after my psle cause it was just beside my house i tell you i fucking hated that school but i grew to like it. and i remembered how he assured me everything was going to be alright. just like he's assuring it to me now.

I've already applied for the private candidate shit and I'm thinking of cancelling it cause Lv was telling me not to juggle it life and retaking it. which, of course, i never thought of earlier. see that's the thing with me now my mind's just now functioning properly it fucking sucks. and i can always retake it after I'm done with ite. right? but whatever the problem is i know i have friends and family especially my dad by my side to support me. i love you daddy.

i don't mean the nasty things i said.

2010-03-03T12:35:00.000+08:00

how i wish i could just....

sit back and enjoy life
note to self: NOT FUCKING POSSIBLE

2010-02-26T22:37:00.000+08:00

korang amacam? baik?

i'm so darn lazy to update now so uh.. see you around!

2010-02-11T21:35:00.000+08:00

"i think i should just let it burn"

me and yasser needs to learn how to behave in public. no actually its him la i'm just saying to make him feel better. i hate it when i can't stop laughing around him. he's soooo silly and typing this makes me smile to myself. anyway, my feet are fucking hurting so damn badly. but i can't wait for the weekends. cause i'm working with the best-est people ever. :) and there's a lot going on at work, at home, outside when i'm with yasser, or not my life's been good lately and i'm hoping there's more good things in store for me. and i miss the poeple whom i call friends but i don't seem to get any replies from them but oh wells, shit happens right? going for a swim tomorrow and picnic after with LV CUTE and NAZ IRRITATING i can't wait! goodbye for now,

xoxo.

"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.
Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Just walk beside me and be my friend."
- Albert Camus

2010-01-31T22:17:00.000+08:00

I wanna make you smile
Whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All i wanna do, is grow old with you
I'll get you medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
So, it could be so nice growing old with you.
I'll miss you
Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
Need you
Feed you
Even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink
Oh I could be the one who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you.
i wanna grow old with you

2010-01-30T22:11:00.000+08:00

"gettin down with three P's"

it's high time i update this space of mine. so much stuff happened but i'm just too darn lazy to update or too tired. my life's good, but there are times i wish things could be better. like for example school. :( this fucking sucks la, i got posted into an ite. i know right. i don't know if i should try private schools or not but i just don't feel like talking about it to dad. i feel like such a letdown la, seriously. i think i have too much fun. but i'm a girl and i can't but to have fun. my dad was just like "eh, if you get ite bishan right, then i can send you to school everyday." err dad, its not suppose to be a good thing. but i like the course i got though. so yeah.. i really just have to wait and see how things goes. as for now i've got a part time job. AND IT SUCKS. PERIOD.

there's 'R', i think he swears too much. he's really nasty at times. he likes to curse and he does it in malay which is quite..funny. he's a malaysian indian by the way. he says stuff like 'babi' 'bodoh' and 'bangsat' but i don't know what the last one means but i think its inappropriate to say to sombebody. then there's 'L', he touches me too much. ha ha! Yasser's gonna hate this. he pokes me like trying to tickle and he wants to take me out drinking if i do night shift. hmmm, sorry love, i don't drink. so no thanks. and there's 'A' HE'S VERY CUTEEEE! and thats's about it for him. ;) and then there's 'H' he's old, MARRIED and not cute. like, AT ALL. and he asked for my number. like dude, wtf? i thought he was kidding and was trying to be friendly. i should have known better. the people there, you can't be too nice to them. but overall i think the the job's okay but the fact that i don't have friends working with me sucks.

so its less than a week away but i'm not feeling it this year. maybe cause i don't deserve it. :( yes i'm talking about my birthday. its very depressing la. ha ha. i haven't even thought of a venue, or date. but a beautifoool watch and clothes would be great. and i think i have to work la! seriously how sucky can it get. can you hear me whining already!

dear beautiful bag, i hope you'll be mine soon. i love you and don't let anybody buy you.

2010-01-16T22:11:00.000+08:00

"there's nothing about you i would change"

i hope i get into lasalle i hope i get into lasalle i hope i get into lasalle i hope i get into lasalle. but i don't know but. i just hope i can though. been working a lot lately. it sucks la i tell you! the job is sooo damn brainless. like seriously! but i have a vvv cute manager so its okay. HA HA! my blog is so dead i wonder if anybody even read this shit. anyway Yasser has been so damn annoying lately and i swear to god i wanna kill him its not even funny. there's tons of clothes that im so getting but its just a matter of time and i can't wait! Yasser's very horny also. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA shutupwithyourmilfsiayasser.

Yasser: Yang, i wanna sleep already.

Me: okay bye.
Yasser: to all the mums, i'll be watching you.
Me: WTF YASSER?!
Yasser: ha ha,okay i love you. and your mum. bilang sama ibu kamu dia hot banget!

he's fucking annoying and he won't stop molesting me at work. ha ha! he owes me a pair of heels from 313 @ somerset. ^^ and i wanna go out more often. :( i hate work. i don't really really hate it i just hate the people. so nyoya sia i want to die. except for saturdays that is. no not cause Yasser is working. anyway i hope things will go smoothly for now. goodnight world.

yours truly.

2010-01-04T07:19:00.000+08:00

"celebrate good times"

ahh, the smell of new year. im glad 2009 has ended. it wasn't being nice to me. okay, maybe a little bit. i finally got a job offer. too little to late but i will try to wake at six fifty in the morning and not be late for work. got back from KL few days back with imogen and the trip was great fun. had abang alyasa and his fiance to bring us around with some of his friends who study there. and i wanna go Batam again. ha ha! more trips coming with mum and yasser before school starts. hopefully he's passport will be okay by then. and i can't believe i just talked about school. ha ha i havent even get my results and i dont want to anyway. i wanna live life like this everyday except for the nothing-to-do at home part. :)

ciaos.

2009-12-27T23:07:00.000+08:00

i had fun in Batam. so much. leaving for KL this thursday.
hold on tight KL for Nurul is coming your way!
and Lv, that video is for you my love!

2009-12-24T03:43:00.000+08:00

"is there any way i can stay in your arms?"

blogging is becoming so boring for me now. went kite flying with the one and only Yasser O and... i suck at it la! stupid kite. every time Yasser passes it to me it will just go 'crashhhh'. :( so i had to do the stupid job of throwing it up and Yasser will happily fly it. this bugger was so excited i can say he's more excited than i was! he even wanted to get a big one from this uncle who's always flying kites there. but because i woke up soo late, we didn't get a chance to fly it for long. but no worries, we shall go again. yay yay bigger kite next time. perhaps we should get two! YASSER WHAT SAY YOU? :)

went swimming after that and for the first time in like one month I'm actually sleepy! which is a good thing cause i haven't been turning in early lately and its annoying me so much. had dinner and had a 'heart to heart' talk with Yasser and sometimes what he says really makes sense. i said sometimes! its nice to have someone who is so close to you giving you advice and like trying to make things appear.. better than they actually are. i can never get sick of talking about 'friendship' with yasser. its like he has gone through all this and i'm just like okay yeah i should just forget them. and i know i will. it just takes time.

i have two hours to sleep starting from now!

2009-12-21T04:51:00.000+08:00

"I'm so glad i found you, I'm not gonna lose you"

it was a chilly night when we walked at the beach and you told me the possibilities of what is coming up if we were to get together as a couple. it seemed like it was only yesterday but that was two years ago back in April 2007 when we promised to go through everything together-and we did. i took the risk of being heart broken but that was nothing compared to the love we shared and the time we spent together. so many things happened like when i had to move in to Yishun and live quite far from you, you replacing my phone for me on the spot when i lost it, birthday parties we celebrated together and so much more. looking back, i still remembered how i quickly pressed each 'read message' button every time my phone went off. i couldn't stop smiling to myself every time i was reading your text messages.

you were all i ever wanted. you don't drink, you don't smoke, you never hit me, you never cursed me, you never shouted at me, you never fail to help me sort things out when life gets rough. i loved the times when you would come over to my place with lunch every time after school, the times when we would skate every weekend without fail from Bedok to East Coast and back again. the times when you would list the positive and negative points every time I'm torn in between. the times when you supported me no matter how crazy my idea sounded. the times when you spoiled me with whatever i want.

i liked everything you did with me or to me. i liked the fact that you shaved your head, i like it when you try to kiss me at every opportunity you have, i love it when we fight for the remote control, i liked you smelling my hair, i love it when you got me whatever i craved for at an instant, i liked having someone to warm to hug when I'm freezing to death in the theatre. i love pulling your top exposing your stomach and touch them with my freezing hands and just hear you go "Aaaah yanggggg". Yasser if you still don't get it, this post is basically about HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU. and i'm so sorry for everything i said to you. for that mail i sent you when i was fuming and everything i said. :( see you later hunk.

many hugs and kisses.

2009-12-19T03:26:00.000+08:00

"street life"

truth is, i'm really really lazy to go for practice tomorrow. i really wanna get out of Singapore like asap cause if not i'm going bonkers. and i would love another shopping spree in Vietnam. Mak, pleaseeeee. i'm going away to Batam this 26th. yes Batam! i need a freaking massage man. ha ha! anyway, i had fun today with the rabbits. i very jakun one la. i must i was surprised when i first saw them. i thought it was only one, or two. but there were plenty! me so happy. but the white and brown ones were so difficult to hold. so annoying..like Naz!

Yasser got his hair shaved botak today which is super cool. i've been wanting to see him botak and i finally i got the chance. it did take quite some time to convince him though. and so that's it. i'm done.

2009-12-18T00:12:00.000+08:00

Amen to that :)

" please please let me get what i want"

sometimes i really think i should sit back and appreciate what i have and those around me. its not that i don't, I'm just saying. i should stop seeing the bad in others so much that will make me hate them without any apparent reason. i was on my way home just now when i started thinking what if i don't have anybody that i could pour my feelings to or what if i don't have achieve good enough results to secure my future? i have way too many things in life that i want to achieve but I'm really scared if i can't reach them and people around me will start thinking that I'm not serious about life. i want to be taken seriously as of NOW! i hate this feeling man, i mean seriously fuck that shit about stereotypes. i need to go out more often. look what staying at home made me feel like. shit.

done.

2009-12-16T18:40:00.000+08:00

sometimes it really is easier said than done

2009-12-14T12:11:00.000+08:00

"i can't take no more"

i wish i were fairer! ha ha this fucking sucks. but its okay, i was seriously dead beat after yesterday's photo taking. i don't like calling it photoshoot cause i'm no model. ha ha and Naz did such a wonderful job! she's amazing i tell you! haven't heard of her? heh anyway, whilst i was busy trying to find a comfortable spot, there was this group of Indian tourists who wanted to take a picture with us. okay i wasn't sure if it was 'with us' or 'of us'. ha ha you get it right.. and Naz was like ok, no touching! fierce sia ni mummy.

and it rained a little bit halfway through and there was this kid under the shelter he was cute and round and squeezeable. but he wasn't friendly. :( i felt like taking him and throwing him into the waters! he did high-fived Naz though. went to Henderson waves and there was this freaking incident which i'm still afraid of thinking about it. okay i'm done! i'll upload more soon.

one and only,

NURUL M.

2009-12-14T12:09:00.000+08:00

"I'm trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful"

now who's the sexy bitch? apparently i came across this particular blog and i feel terribly contemptible towards her cause she tries her best to speak proper English but i must say she's quite far from doing so. no i don't go there often i just HAPPENED to be there so i looked at her archives and she was speaking pretty much 'normally'. now she tries to make everything sound 'like bitch' for example, it was so hot today oh my fucking god the sun is a bitch. i mean SERIOUSLY? and she explains every single detail of what happened to her stupid homo pet that ran away. well why don't you just get another one yes?

i hate it when people tries so hard but you know that deep inside that's just not who you are. people will love you for who you are and I'm damn right about this. maybe fashion has the ability to allow people wear the same thing but it really is a different thing when it comes to the way you speak or TYPE. so if you get what I'm trying to say good for you. and those of you who actually felt the pinch, Amen.

it really annoys me the fact that you can't live your life without having anyone to hold you back. no wait, I'm not done with that. SERIOUSLY, I'M SO INDIGNANT NOW. I've had it with people oops, sorry i meant COOL people who claim they're TREND SETTER and people who SECRETLY visit my Facebook page or my blog and tries to live the way i live or speak the way i do or type like i do.

and one more thing, my freinds are MY friends and your friends are yours. so take your little friends away and have fun with each other like i do with mine. thank you so much for reading this and just so you know I'm THIS close to putting your link down here. but i know i shouldn't right cause later.. ' NURUL IS SUCH A BITCH' ha ha! okay get going you stupid bitch. GET!

2009-12-08T00:11:00.000+08:00

"life is fair, like a rainbow in your hair"

I'm thinking of taking up Yoga classes! and oh! to watch Neyo in concert in January in KL. ha ha. so who's with me? :)Seri love just called and we're going Tekka tomorrow. awesome! ha ha. speaking of which. I'm going waxing as well. :S not my cup of tea. seriously. but anyway, I'm starting on my portfolio soon but I'm having second thoughts. i mean i don't even know where to start. i was thinking of nursing, as suggested by my aunt and seri. but.. i don't know. i have buts to everything. but my sisters seem supportive of me pursuing arts. see, that is where all my buts will start coming in. sidetrack: as I'm typing away, I'm grooving to house music but my family is watching the tragic event of September eleven. how wrong. so how how? arts or nursing. arts la. no nursing is safer. i think. i don't know where to go now. shite. i know. i should go to sleep first and see how tomorrow goes.

2009-12-06T23:03:00.000+08:00

"I'm looking in your big brown eyes"

and yes I've been out yet again for this week and I'm so glad my boobs are still sticking to me. despite the crazy viking ride, there were pretty much NOTHING to do in the theme park. oh my god i think if the rest were open for the public i would have already lost my voice and everything else. it was so boring la but since Matiin had free tickets. :) but i couldn't stop whining about the place. so boring i tell you! if not for the great company i would so regret going. the boys were so random la, comparing leg hairs and stuff. and fez! what you did to the little boy was damn evil okay! but despite it being soooo damn boring, i didn't realise i hadn't eaten the whole day which resulted in me having the worst headache ever. i doubt it was the rides though. (and can you believe the actual tickets are priced at seventeen dollars) i know right. ha ha ha! went to the supermarket with Yasser just now since his mum kirimed stuff and i can't help being so annoying while Yasser was asking me to choose the cucumbers.

Yasser: pick the skinny and long ones.
Me: why? but i like it thick and long.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WTF! and that was in the supermarket. aiyo, how inappropriate. but I'm so happy I've cancelled out so many things in my book already. hah! just a few more and I'm a fucking legend. somehow i love not having a job. ;)

2009-12-06T04:09:00.000+08:00

one for my friend SHAH! *inside joke*
ha ha ha! i know you like it Shah don't deny.

I HAD SO MUCH FUN TODAY.
LAUGHING SMILING POSING RUNNING EATING,
I CAN'T WAIT WHAT THE FUTURE HAS IN STORE FOR ME.

special thanks to NAZ JAY and YASSER!

2009-12-05T02:54:00.000+08:00

"and we could be on the phone for three hours not saying one word"

i gotta wake up at ten in the morning tomorrow which means i only have seven hours to sleep. seven bloody hours only! and where the hell is TINA! she went offline halfway while we were chatting. i wanna pinch that tetek of hers already la! annoying. oh i am sooo excited for tomorrow. had Shah to accompany me to get clothes which he (im)patiently waited while i tried the clothes on. on another note i kind of regretted what i got okay Lv is gonna kill me. after which, i met Yasser to pass his mum's jelly stuff. okay la i didn't mean to pinch him that hard. ha ha ha! sorry my love i uh.. get excited easily being around you. ha ha! and you know i didn't mean to cause that blue-black right. heee heee! me love you long time.

and i think i might have come to a decision...which is to invest in a pair of gooood skating shoes. but still! i want Peanut Butter. :( can i have both please Santa? i'm feeling so Christmas-sy. i can't wait for the year end sale. i can't wait for next year. i can't wait for my birthday. i can't wait to fucking know my results be it good or bad. i can't wait to start school again cause i miss studying so much. i can't wait for Yasser's term/school break whatever you call it. i can't wait till i start skating again. ooooou.. daddy's not gonna be too happy about that. alrighty, i'm outy.

ciao bella!